CES 2013 is a time for companies to show off their best and brightest gadgets that they’ve been busy developing for the past year. Unfortunately, it looks like a few companies didn’t get that memo.
Here are five gadgets found at CES 2013 that were not only easy to forget, but they were also just plain stupid:
5) The vibrating USB fork
It’s a sad day when you need a fork to tell you to stop eating like a pig. But that’s exactly what a product called the HAPIfork does. This thick fork will monitor the way you eat. If you’re moving the fork to your mouth too quickly, the fork will vibrate to tell you to slow down. You can download your eating habits as often as you want via a USB connector.
Can you imagine trying to explain this fork at your next dinner party? “What’s this pink monstrosity I’m holding, you ask? Well, I can’t control my eating habits so I’m relying on a vibrating fork to tell me when to stop. How’s your life going?”
Another problem with the HAPIfork is that it doesn’t count calories. You could be eating a tub of ice cream very slowly and the stupid HAPIfork would applaud you for your hard work. But if you shove too many forkfuls of that broccoli into your mouth, prepare to be vibrated.
Good luck with your weight loss goals in 2013.
4) The $12,000 TV
Would you rather buy a good used car, go on a European vacation, or buy a new TV that is slightly larger than the one you already own? If you chose the last response, then congratulations! The consumer electronics market has created a line of TVs just for you.
Those TVs are called 4K TVs, and they’re significantly more powerful than today’s puny HD and 3D TVs. They run at a resolution of 3840×2160 and are also classified as ultra HD or UHD TVs.
The problem is that – like all new TV technology – 4K TVs are ridiculously expensive. You can expect to pay $12,000 to $20,000 for a basic 4K TV. And to make matters worse, you’re not going to find too many video files running at a resolution that will take advantage of your fancy new screen. I just recently added HD channels to my cable package. Is it already time to pay for more channels I don’t watch?
For what it’s worth, you can watch a 4K movie sample at Wikipedia here. But you would just look silly watching it on your “normal” HD computer monitor.
3) A CEO’s worst nightmare
Normally, we don’t have a problem with Sony’s products. And we feel kind of bad for including Sony on this list. But Sony CEO Kazuo Hirai made an unfortunate gaffe on-stage at CES 2013. While talking to reporters about how awesome his company’s new OLED display was, the screen suddenly delivered a disconcerting BIOS screen. Talk about awkward!
2) A keyboard you’ll need to program in order to function properly
If you’re like most people in this world, you do not currently have a computer science degree of any sort. In that case, the new Roccat Ryos MK Pro keyboard is not for you. Sure, the Ryos MK Pro looks like a regular gaming keyboard – with its mechanical keys and soft lighting. You might think that it would be perfect for a high-performance PC gaming enthusiast like yourself.
But just you wait! The Ryos MK Pro comes with a programmable per-key lighting system that lights up based on what happens on your computer screen. Doesn’t that sound like a lot of fun?
Don’t get your hopes up – if you want to watch your keyboard pulse with custom lighting, then you’ll need to program it yourself. The keyboard only gives users access to the SDK, which means they’ll have to write their own code in order to configure it to its full potential. Umm, isn’t that what I’m paying you for, Roccat?
1) The iPotty
When Apple invented the iPad, I don’t think they envisioned it in the hands of toddlers learning how to poop. But the creators of the iPotty disagree. The iPotty is a small plastic toilet that comes with an iPad-shaped mount on the front.
Toddlers will obediently sit on the toilet, learn how to do their business, and play educational games at the same time. Your toddler will be the pride of the preschool classroom, and all of the other jealous parents will wonder how your kid is doing 6th grade math at the age of 3 while simultaneously learning how to poop on command.
You know what’s more likely to happen if you give your toddler an iPotty? You’ll get poop on your expensive tablet’s screen or your toddler will get distracted and forget all about what he came to the toilet for. So once again, good luck with your potty training goals in 2013.
But let’s be honest – if you’re an iPad owner, I can almost guarantee that you’ve used it while sitting on the toilet. So why not start training kids at an early age?
