DEAR ABBY: My father is having an affair. Another one. It is not the first time I have found evidence of it. I was using his computer to work on my grandmother’s memorial and an IM popped up from a woman telling him to meet her at a family event my mother was not supposed to attend. Her message to Dad was extremely sexual and very upsetting.
The “other woman” is an old high school friend of my parents’ and a friend of the family. I have confronted my father in the past, even threatened to end my relationship with him if it didn’t stop.
My heart breaks for Mama, but she loves Dad so much she will stand by him through anything. Somehow, I always manage to get stuck in the middle of their marital problems, and I was even blamed for their separation five years ago.
This has affected my relationship with my boyfriend because I have extreme trust issues. I find myself hating my father more and more each day. please help me before I lose my sanity. — Daughter of a Cheater
DEAR DAUGHTER: For your own emotional well-being you must remove yourself from the drama and dysfunction in your parents’ marriage. You cannot fix what’s wrong with it. your father doesn’t want to and your mother appears to have made peace, if you can call it that, with his infidelities.
You need professional help, and with good reason, and I urge you to get it.
DEAR ABBY: We have some longtime friends, the “Gotrocks,” who frequently come over for dinner. When they do, they bring “house gifts.” Commercially made cakes, Danish, etc. that are well past their expiration dates. then brag about how much they saved on the food.
My wife and I limit our intake of sugar, high-fat and processed foods, and the Gotrocks are aware of it because we have told them, but they persist. I am offended that they would offer low-quality food that I wouldn’t serve an animal.
What should I do? Accept the garbage gracefully, not serve it and deep-six it after they leave, or tell them to stop bringing it?
Incidentally, money isn’t an issue here; they proudly admit they are cheap. — Offended in Pennsylvania
DEAR OFFENDED: the next time they come, make a point of serving their gift to them for dessert. While you and your wife enjoy a healthy portion of fresh fruit. If they enjoy it. Fine. If they look askance, you will have made your point. Waste not, want not.
.To write to dear Abby, go to DearAbby.com or send to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.